The Kwik Kar Archives: The Neck from...PLANET X!!!

Wow...how time flies! Seems like it was just yesterday when Kwik Kar Scioness Debbie Lincoln's husband Mike had the neck operation (2003). And yes, that's a copy of Mike's actual neck X-Ray image we used in the ad. I swear that whatever the doctors put in poor Mike's neck looked exactly like a section of chain from an old Harley-Davidson. See for yourself:

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The Kwik Kar Archives: From the Flight Log of Dusty Brittain!

Let's take a look back to November 11, 2003 and see what Kwik Kar of Weatherford Technical Jargon Specialist Dusty Brittain was up to. Ah, yes...

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The Kwik Kar Archives: Debbie Injury Update

Please bear in mind that today's Kwik Kar of Weatherford Blast from the Past happened a decade ago. Debbie has since healed up just fine. Sadly, however, she's never ridden a horse since the accident. Instead, she now rides goats, because you don't fall nearly as far in the case of a spill. The horse was relatively uninjured, and went on to an illustrious career as the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. So, without further ado...

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The Kwik Kar Archives: Irish Wolfhound to the Rescue!

Let's take a peek back in time — a little over a decade, to be exact. Dachshunds no longer rule the earth. It's the Age of Irish Wolfhounds. Read on...

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The Kwik Kar Archives: Miniature Golf!

Right up front, I'd like to briefly address a controversy which this ad touches on. Here, I call miniature golf the "silliest sport." However, I've had other folks swear up and down that curling is the silliest sport; while others are quite sure that egg tossing or gurning fits the bill. Despite my verbiage in the ad, I'm really neutral on what constitutes the silliest sport. But I have to admit that curling is just about the most bizarre competitive endeavor I've ever seen. I say "bizarre" here but what I really mean is that it's the most unusual, exotic, somewhat hypnotic, cryptic, fluid, graceful yet inscrutable sort of thing. What are these people doing? How do you score points? Do you even score points? Well, apparently there are enough folks who will gather and watch curling; just look at the viewer stats on this YouTube clip:

(Screencap)

Watch this clip at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpP30ADVTfA

126,935 people viewed this clip! Apparently, curling is Big Stuff in places I don't hang out in much. But, like I said, I do find it strangely hypnotic. Go watch this clip and pay attention to the guys with the 'brooms' (my terminology) who appear to sweep the ice ahead of the 'stone' (their terminology) as it glides down in a stately procession of stone and humans. What are those guy's positions called? What are they doing, exactly? It's most perplexing. I notice that 22 people out of 65 who bothered to express an opinion said they "dislike" this clip of curling. Those must be the Scottish folks. Sorry, Scotland. Better luck next season! Do they even have seasons in curling? Oh, well.

On to this week's Kwik Kar of Weatherford glance back in time, from 2004:

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The Kwik Kar Archives: Flu Season!

Today's Kwik Kar Blast from the Past first saw ink in March, 2005:

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The Kwik Kar Archives: Maverick Turns to Mustang!

Back in 2003, I actually owned the Ford Maverick which appears in the upper left corner of this ad. Forget Mr. Haley's 'Stang, my Maverick was the Beast! Or not. But seriously, I recall being stopped at a light once, and a very young guy next to me rolled down his window and asked if my Maverick was a Ferrari. "Why...yes, YES IT IS a Ferrari! Wanna buy it?"

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The Kwik Kar Archives: Desperado Ducks!

Today's peek back into Kwik Kar of Weatherford history comes to us from March 15, 2005:

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The Kwik Kar Archives: The Anole!

Today's Kwik Kar of Weatherford Archived Ad hearkens back to June 7, 2005:

 

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The Kwik Kar Archives: When Dachshunds Ruled the Earth!

This one's from February 3, 2004. Or maybe from February 3, 145 MILLION YEARS BC:

The small "movie credits" text at lower left reads:

A DEBBIE LINCOLN PRODUCTION of a DUSTY BRITTAIN FILM
'WHEN DACHSHUNDS RULED THE EARTH'
starring MEL GIBSON • CLORIS LEACHMAN • RUTGER HAUR and JACKIE CHAN as 'Charles'
Filmed in DACHS-O-SCOPE and glorious BLACK AND WHITE • Soundtrack available on NAUGHTY DOG RECORDS

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Kwik Kar of Weatherford — The Debbie Lincoln Project

Debbie Lincoln was a loyal client of mine from at least mid-1998 until 2008 (I'll have to check on the end date...I've slept since then). She and her husband Mike had the local Kwik Kar franchise in Weatherford, Texas. What was amazing about having Debbie as a client is that she (largely) loved my off-kilter sense of humor, had an amazing sense of the absurd all her own, and gave me largely free reign to inflict our senses of humor on the unsuspecting public of Parker County, Texas. Her and Mike's Kwik Kar franchise was wildly successful. Perhaps too successful, from my point of view, in that Kwik Kar of Weatherford attracted the attention of those who wanted in on the action and had the monetary means of making a serious attempt at doing so. Alas, the fine folks of Jiffy Lube made her and Mike an offer that was just too good to pass up, and they sold the business. I never even tried to approach the new Jiffy Lube owners about doing ads for them; I realized it probably just wouldn't be the same.

I haven't spoken to either Debbie or Mike in a couple of years, so I don't know what MIke's up to these days, but Debbie was always a painter, even when she ran her Kwik Kar franchise. She now seems to keep very busy at her painting, as evidenced by her blog here:

Now or Never: Debbie Lincoln's Blog

The Kwik Kar of Weatherford ads ran weekly in either the Parker County Shopper or the sadly defunct Parker County Advertiser, with occasional ads showing up in the Weatherford Democrat and various specialty publications like the Weatherford High School "Roos" booster programs.

In fond remembrance of Debbie and Mike (and Kibble the Wonder Pomeranian and the entire Kwik Kar Crew), and the amazingly fun advertising we did over those years, I hereby dedicate a portion of my blog to posting reproductions of some of the ads. I take no responsibility whatsoever for any effect these have on you.

Our inaugural ad is from January 7, 2003.

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Greetings! Hola! Sawasdee Krab!

This blog is my very first blog.

Several questions immediately present themselves: What is a "blog"? What does it mean to blog? What is the blogger's correct relationship to his online social sphere? And to society at large? And lastly, why the hell do I ask all these questions?

* * * * *

In order to start things out on a positive note, I hereby proclaim to all and sundry that I will strive to maintain an atmosphere of unpredictability and paradoxically reverent irreverence on this blog at all times. So help me. And for those whom I might offend, I offer this form(al) apology in advance:

(Formal Apology courtesy of Bureau of Communication. Check out their site...they offer a book chock full of these humorous forms. It's howlingly funny, especially if you're the type of person who might actually send one of these. I know that I am! And I'll bet you never even realized there was such a thing as Form Satire, did you?)