I'm trying to apply for admission to the Electoral College, but I can't find their website.

— TK

I've just invented something I call the Mopey Meal. It's like a Happy Meal, only I feed it to my sweetie when she's being mopey.

I have a trademark on the name Mopey Meal, so don't get any bright ideas.

— TK

An observation: Coleslaw never really goes bad in the fridge, it just turns into sauerkraut with carrots.

— TK